


Time Doesn't Stand Still

by castiel_ambrose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 21:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21004097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castiel_ambrose/pseuds/castiel_ambrose
Summary: The car was silent, save for the quiet rock streaming from the radio. Sam had fallen asleep an hour ago, and if they weren’t so close to the Bunker, Dean might’ve pulled over to the side of the road and joined him. But it wasn’t so much the engine or the distance or the headlights keeping him awake, but the quiet angel in the backseat.Or… ex-angel.





	Time Doesn't Stand Still

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this one came from, but I've just been wanting some simple hurt/comfort and I think this horribly self-indulgent fic is the best way to do it. I hope you like it!

The car was silent, save for the quiet rock streaming from the radio. Sam had fallen asleep an hour ago, and if they weren’t so close to the Bunker, Dean might’ve pulled over to the side of the road and joined him. But it wasn’t so much the engine or the distance or the headlights keeping him awake, but the quiet angel in the backseat.

Or… ex-angel.

They had found Castiel at a payphone on the side of the road, coat wrapped around him like a blanket as she slumped on the cracked curb. He didn’t need to do anything but look up at the brothers for the two of them to realize what had happened, how his Grace had been taken and how he had been exiled from his kind once again. He had barely said anything at all, in fact. Cas had never been one who was “outgoing”, to use a word, but his silence was contemplative, serene, more often than not. This wasn’t a serene silence; this was as if someone had gone to the angel’s settings and forcibly pushed the mute button.

Both brothers had tried their best to engage them, but all their attempts were met with barely a hint of recognition or a flicker of a remark. It hurt Sam, obviously, but it hurt Dean even more. He was reminded against his better will about the previous time they had found Castiel as a human, the pain clear. The last thing he ever wanted was that to happen again.

The car pulled into the Bunker’s garage, and Sam woke up quick enough once Dean prodded him, but Castiel was already out of the car and up the steps into the Bunker by then. Dean went to follow, but found himself unable to. He sighed and sat back down as the door slammed shut.

“He needs you, Dean.” Sam’s quiet voice broke the silence eventually.

“I know he does.” Dean sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands. “I just don’t know how.”

“You know how. You just don’t feel right doing it.”

Dean couldn’t even muster up a good glare to counter Sam’s “you know I’m right” look. Instead, he tried to focus on the wheel as if it had personally offended him. Sam got out of the car, patting Dean on the shoulder sympathetically as he did. Dean watched him go, not feeling quite right alone before following shortly after. His feet led him directly to Castiel’s room. They were together now, had been for a few months. _ That _ had been an ordeal and a half, coming to terms with it; he’d avoided Cas for days before blurting out his feelings at the end of a Hunt. But the light in those sky blue eyes and the wondrous hint of a smile on the angel’s face was enough to dispel the doubts in Dean’s mind. And now Castiel wouldn’t even speak to him.

The room situation had only been solved recently, but Dean knew that when Castiel was really down he would go to his old room, unwilling to take his problems into their shared room. Sure enough, Dean opened the door quietly to see him lying on his side on the bed. He hadn’t even undressed besides leaving his shoes at the foot of the bed. A little pang of hurt worked its way into Dean’s heart and he quietly sat beside him on the bed. Castiel didn’t react, and Dean couldn’t tell if that was good or bad.

“Cas? You wanna talk? Dean was never one to _ talk _, but for Castiel? He knew deep down that he would talk until the sun rose.

The only response he got was silence. Then, a quiet “no.”

The little pain was firmly entrenched in him, now. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”

The only response he got was another muffled “no”. Dean sighed and kicked off his own boots to lay down next to Castiel. Within a minute the other rolled over and Castiel’s face was there, buried in Dean chest. Dean’s arms encircled him protectively and kept him close. Dean could feel tears dampening the front of his shirt, but did nothing to point it out. All he did -- all he could do -- was hold the ex-angel close and offer what comfort he could. Neither of them slept that night.

* * *

The adjustment period that followed was rough. There was a positive in that Castiel had been through the human thing once before, and this time he wasn’t getting kicked out of the Bunker to fend for himself. But even then, it was hard for him when he was reminded to eat or do basic human exercises like sleeping and drinking water. When he was forced to wash his trench coat for the first time after something spilled on it, he went silent as a stone and wouldn’t even talk to the brothers until the dryer cycle was done. Dean wasn’t sure if it was because he was so attached to the identity of it or because he couldn’t clean it with a swipe of his hands anymore. Sam said it might be both.

For a while, though, Castiel seemed to get along well enough. Aside from a few slip ups, as time went on, he improved. Until it was time to go on a Hunting trip.

Dean had been hesitant for Cas to go along, especially with his new state, but he had been so insistent that it had been hard for him to say no. It turned out to be a vampire, which they thought they could handle until it turned out she was part of a very large pack. They had barely decapitated the last vampire before it could cause further harm and they escaped, banged up badly. Sam was going to have a nasty shiner in the morning, and the cut on Dean’s cheekbone hurt more than anything. Cas was barely scraped, and Dean was thankful for that, even if he seemed more upset than usual as he surveyed the area.

At the motel Sam separated to his own room, something which Dean was both thankful and begrudging before he followed Castiel into their motel room next door.

“Does it hurt badly?” Cas immediately started off before the door was closed.

“This? Nah, not really. I just need to patch it up.” Dean gestured to the cut on his cheek and shrugged. Castiel’s gaze instead followed Dean’s hand.

“Your knuckles are split as well.” Dean hadn’t even noted how much they hurt until then. “Do you need to ‘patch them up’ as well?”

“Um… maybe. But-”

“Then I can do it.” Castiel said with resolution as he went to the bathroom and began to search for a med kit.

“Cas,” Dean started off as he followed, “you’re probably hurt as well. I can do my own.”

“I want to help, Dean.”

“But you don’t have to-”

“Just let me.” There was a certain tone in his voice, and his hands grasped the kit tightly as he spoke. His eyes dared to meet Dean’s, and something in them made him nod slowly.

“Alright, I’ll go sit on the bed.” He conceded, and he went to do so. Castiel quickly followed and sat beside him on the edge of the bed. There were a few minutes of quiet, only broken by Dean’s jolts and subtle hisses of pain or Castiel’s murmured questions of if he was doing fine. He looked… sad, almost, the feeling growing with every passing minute, and as he finished cleaning Dean’s hand, the man finally spoke up.

“What’s wrong, Cas?”

Castiel concerned himself with Dean’s hands. “Nothing. I feel fine, Dean.” He went to get up, but Dean gently tightened his grip, just enough to make Castiel stop what he was doing.

“Please, don’t lie to me, man. The past week you’ve been… and now this?” Dean didn’t want to phrase it wrong, or make Castiel feel bad, but he wanted to get to the bottom of it.

Castiel didn’t look at him, or talk for a long time. When he did, it was quiet, somber. “Not long ago, I could’ve easily healed you in a second. And… I could’ve been more use during the Hunt.”

“Cas, you can still fight-”

But now he was on a roll. “I didn’t need to sleep, or eat, or _ feel _ so weak. What good am I, Dean?” Now his voice was full of bitterness, but not towards anything but himself. “What use am I when I can’t even protect you?”

“Stop it, Cas-”

“I’m _ useless _, Dean!” He raised his voice. “What purpose do I have? I’m human, and weak… I can’t do now what I did then. I’m a burden.”

“Castiel!” Dean finally got his attention, and he saw Castiel’s eyes were barely shimmering with tears. Then, gently, “Is this everything you felt?”

Castiel only nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I- I didn’t want you to worry.”

“It’s my job to worry, Cas. I wanna help you.” His hands squeezed Castiel’s, and he almost sighed in relief when his hands were squeezed in return. The tension drained out of their bodies.

“I just want to feel useful again.” Castiel whispered, eyes falling to the starched comforter.

“You _ are _, Cas. There’s nothing “broken” about you, or anything that makes you a burden on me or Sam. I don’t need you as an angel-”

“That’s not true-”

“-I just need _ you _ , in any form. We’re better together, you know that. Whether you’re, I dunno, crazy? Or you’re fully powered? Or brainwashed? We’re good together. You’d be pissed if I talked like this about myself. What makes it okay for you to talk like this about yourself?” There was no answer, and Dean strained to keep himself under control as he quietly finished. “All I need is you, Cas. We can figure out the rest. Just- Just stop retreating. Stay with me. _ Please _.”

Castiel’s blue eyes darted back up to look at Dean, and Dean saw the shimmering look in his eyes of unshed tears. “You mean that?”

“I do, Cas. And if I could say it any other way, I would. Please, man… I need you.”

It was silent for a long time, long enough that Dean thought Castiel would ignore him. Quietly, the angel’s hands slipped from Dean’s hands and that momentary panic was washed away as Castiel leaned in and wrapped his arms around Dean in a hug. He could’ve done a lot of things in his relief but his arms held Castiel close all the same. It wasn’t the end of it, Dean knew. There would be bumps along the way, and they would have to work on how Castiel felt about himself. But in this moment all that mattered to Dean was having _ his _ angel with him.

_ I love you _, one said.

_ And I, you _, said the other.

**Author's Note:**

> If you did happen to like this, please leave a comment or a kudos; it would make my day! To make it even brighter, please consider stopping by my [tumblr](https://rainbow-of-the-lord.tumblr.com/) where I'm always taking new prompt ideas or always open for a chat! Thank you and have an amazing day!


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